Why I’ll probably never get to be Young and Fun

by Angela

In the movies you often see Young, Fun People going to a nice bar after work. They Chat and they Laugh and it looks so fun. Sometimes I want my life to be like a movie. I want to sit in a bar after work and Laugh.

In my city, though, the only bars are either Sports bars (which is not where Young, Fun Women go in movies unless they’re trying to show that they’re One Of The Guys), or bars with live bands playing Classic Rock (actually, I’m convinced it’s just one band that has figured out how to be in 5 places at once; also, not where Young, Fun People in movies go). In other words, there is nowhere to go to be a Young and Fun Woman. So I was excited when I heard there was a new bar opening up in town because maybe this would be the bar that would fulfill my movie dreams. A bar that I would be able to go to with friends where I could Chat and Laugh and Have Fun.

Alas, it was not meant to be.  The new bar is named Frat Burger. Not only is it a double cliche by linking meat-eating and masculinity as well as beer drinking and frat boys, it is not where Young, Fun Women go to Chat and Laugh in the movies. At least, not in the movies that don’t frighten me to death.

But it did get me thinking about why there are no bars for girls. Oh wait! It’s because Girls Don’t Like Beer. Also, girls aren’t supposed to eat. So there’s that. Imagine: a bar called Pink Carrots, where you can order a veggie platter that comes wrapped in a pretty pink package that allows you to practice your pretty surprise face when you open it up. You can drink water and Diet pop.

Yeah, that wouldn’t work because it wouldn’t Make Money.

Also, it wouldn’t be For Men and, therefore, For Everyone.

So what about: a bar where girls can drink beer without it being assumed that they’re Looking For Sex; a bar where girls can eat whatever they want and drink Regular pop and even eat dessert; a bar where girls can go and not feel like they’re on display. That would be even better than the bars I see Young, Fun People going to in movies. But I think the only place this bar is going to make an appearance is in the movie in my head. And that’s why I’ll probably never get to be Young and Fun. There’s nowhere for me to be Young and Fun.